This week is all about games featuring skateboards. Matt eats a coupon which is… not what coupons are for in Wonder Boy Returns. Cody makes and elephant scared, as per usual, in Disney’s Extreme Skate Adventure. And Nikki skates or dies, but mostly dies, in California Games II: The Californianing!
This week we hack the planet with Rom hacks! Matt fights a piranha plant and a camera in Super Mario 64: Last Impact! Nikki trains for a week to not die which I guess is what we all do 24/7 in Kaizo Mario Bros 3! And Cody got greedy and played two games: First, Bulbasaur calls him a bitch in Pokemon Go: GTA Edition and then Sonic makes him his bitch in Robotnik’s Creature Capture!
This week we play Free-2-Play MMOs! Nikki jaunts around in the one of the first MMOs and gets sent to tavern hell in Meridian-59! Matt calls on the power of Osiris the god of sex to stop a ROBOT BRAIN with his MIND WIENER in DC Universe Online! And Cody plays a Game Boy Advance game while others also play a Game Boy Advance game and I guess that’s technically an MMO if you’re drunk and brainless in PokeMMO!
Let’s pop in to some EDUCATIONAL GAMES! Nikki fights the robots in my mouth which is good because they keep sending my grocery lists to the government in Rex Ronan: Experimental Surgeon! Matt types because type is life and keyboard is hometown in Icarus Proudbottom Teaches Typing! And Cody inhales likes another famous guy from Arkansas – Snoop Dogg? – in Bronkie the Bronchiosaurus!
This week we indulge our guilty pleasures. Nikki battles consumerism the only way she knows how – by kicking – in Christmas Shopping Simulator 2: Black Friday! Cody eats a fruit and hits a wall and that’s not very fun at all in Pac-Man World Rally! And Matt has to stop Dr. Wiwy, so go get da eviw enewgy Megaman in Megaman 8!
This one is out nearly a week early to make sure we’re in time for Christmas! This episode is all about Secret Santa! Matt brings yo mama jokes into a new generation, one wherein yo mama is stankier than ever in Oh Sir! The Insult Simulator. Cody presses X despite all of my best laid plans in Press X To Not Die. And Nikki jumps into spikes and explodes in a cacophany of blood and gore which isn’t supposed to happen until 2032 per this Sports Almanac in Think To Die 2!
This week on Cartridge Blowers, it’s Non-Sports Sports Games! Nikki does it Datto style – which is poisoning people – in Blitzball from Final Fantasy X. Matt does flash kicks in a car to get points in soccer when in real life doing flash kicks in your car gets you points on your drivers license in Rocket League. and Cody gnarfles the garthok and flip flops the bleep bloop because England in Quidditch World Cup!
This week: Advergames! Matt travels to space in armor made of cereal which I think is something NASA really needs to test in ChexQuest, Nikki is a one-woman war on Christmas in Christmas Shopping Simulator, and Cody is dangerous cheesy and also regular cheesy because he’s lame in Chester Cheetah: Too Cool To Fool.
This week we play games we love! Cody speeds through a keed and now he has to tell you when he moves into your neighborhood in Sonic Generations, and Matt checks out a hairy man-ape’s sweet muscular donkeybuns in Donkey Kong 94. All this plus we talk about the NES Classic Edition — and also Nikki is here!
This week we skip all that jibber jabber and get right into playing games against one another! We race to be the first to murder a dragon king in Mario 3, turn each other into rainbows of blood in Shark Attack Deathmatch 2, help put a dinosaur sized punch in Hitler’s dick in Dino D-day, and strangle an owlbear in Dungeons and Dragons: Chronicles of Mystara!
