This week we play games we love! Cody speeds through a keed and now he has to tell you when he moves into your neighborhood in Sonic Generations, and Matt checks out a hairy man-ape’s sweet muscular donkeybuns in Donkey Kong 94. All this plus we talk about the NES Classic Edition — and also Nikki is here!
This week, we finally play games that everyone else has been raving about for years. Matt makes bad things happen to Lara Croft in Tomb Raider! Nikki kisses a dude and feeds him the mashed tomato lying docile in her hot pink mouth in Kirby Super Star! And Cody parkours his way into your heart and through your door and now you’re gonna need a new door in Mirror’s Edge!
This week we skip all that jibber jabber and get right into playing games against one another! We race to be the first to murder a dragon king in Mario 3, turn each other into rainbows of blood in Shark Attack Deathmatch 2, help put a dinosaur sized punch in Hitler’s dick in Dino D-day, and strangle an owlbear in Dungeons and Dragons: Chronicles of Mystara!
This week we play puzzle games! Matt pulls on a man’s face until it’s distended and horrible in Pushmo World, Cody walks Tesla into an incinerator like Edison would have wanted in Teslagrad, and Nikki knows that when it comes to ancient cryptic puzzle boxes, you just kinda jiggle it until it goes in there – like the ancients would’ve wanted – in The Room.
This week we don’t play anything, but we talk about most of the stuff that came out of E3 2016. Enjoy!
Matt is seeking a friend for the end of the world and also someone to bodyslam in John Cena Sexy High School Adventure. Cody finds his heart on the back of the Declaration of Independence in Caging Me Softly and woos a sexy sharptooth helping us learn that love… finds a way in Jurassic Heart. And Nikki helps us actually get Youtube hits with Five Nights of Loooove.
Cody goes to hell but not like Matt’s been praying for in Swamp Thing. Matt plays with animals’ balls in Tiny Toon Adventures: Defenders of the Universe for the goddamned PS2. Lastly, Nikki learns to fly – because that’s how you cheese the game – in DEMON BLAZON!
This is Nick Arcade Challenge Week! We play lots of video games and complete tiny challenges up in em! YAY!
This week, we play little-known RPGs! Matt runs a business into the ground and ends up in a box like Carly Fiorina in Recettear, while Cody is… he plays The Room, yall. They made a game out of the greatest movie of all time. And somehow it’s not a pure football game.
This week the King’s three top aides shall procure various games for yon viewing pleasure: The Royal Poison Taster Matt is a half-minute man, but we all knew this, in Half Minute Hero 2; The Royal Poison Maker, Cody, is three people in one – which is a sex joke waiting to happen – in Trine 2, and Nikki, whose job oddly has naught to do with poison yet still the woman keeps ordering poisons online to do what I know not, she shows off Tom Cruise’s abs in Legend.
